Wrong partner, Bad at sex? What you need to know

Wrong partner, Bad at sex? What you need to know

Some relationships can have almost everything going smoothly for them – from well-matched personalities to good communication skill and fantastic standard of living – but somehow still manage to be duds in the bedroom. How well partners are matched sexually relies on a various factors and those can change invariably for no real reason. Some of the issues are easier to address than others but, for couples who are having issues clicking carnally, the professional consensus is that there is almost always hope.

And below are factors to remember.

  1. No One Is Bad at Sex
    First things first, ask just about any sex therapist and they will tell you that there is no such thing as being bad at sex. One can be uncaring, another can be insensitive to the partner, or can be inhibited about sex, but all of those problems can be discussed,managed and fixed.
  2. Yes Everyone Is Different
    What makes for great sex in one person’s mind may be mind-numbingly boring or certifiably harebrained to another. Particularly when people just meets with a new partner or sexually inexperienced, it can take some significant work to figure out what gets each person’s motor running. And it could also be that, preferences have changed depending on the situation, or even a partner’s mood, or how the relationship as a whole is developing.
  3. Differences in Sex Drives
    One of the most likely reasons couples feel sexually mismatched is because they have vastly different sex drives. It may seem like a trivial matter but differences in libido can become a big challenge. “When couples experience a desire discrepancy, it does have negative implications for their sexual and relationship satisfaction, particularly if this is happens regularly. One of the best ways to combat this issue is through compromise as advised by specialist. Neither partner is in the wrong, so both may have to yield a bit to the other’s impulses. That may mean the partner with the higher libido supplements their sex life with masturbation and the one with the lower libido sometimes engages in sex, even if they aren’t particularly in the mood.
  4. Matching Sexual Temperaments Isn’t Always Necessary
    Everyone has their own unique likes and dislikes in the bedroom and sometimes people’s preferences can be so dissimilar that their sex life suffers. One person may seek novelty, while the other likes things a little more tame. Again, neither is in the wrong. As might be expected, compromise is the likely solution here too. So, as long as you can put some faith in your sexual compatibility, whether or not it’s really a match may not be crucial.
  5. Necessity for attraction
    What might actually prove fatal to a sexual relationship is incompatibility stemming from a lack of general attraction. There is sort of a basic level of physical attraction and overall attraction and if you don’t feel attracted to your partner, that’s going to lead to a lot of incompatibility. In all likelihood, people are in a sexual relationship because there was some semblance of attraction at some point but that may not be enduring. Once the initial spark and excitement wear off, people can find that their partner just isn’t as desirable as they want them to be. Many couples experience a shift in their feelings toward their partner as their relationship ages and not everyone can make the transition. Also, as people get to know each other better, they may find that they don’t have much in common and that can reduce their overall attraction too.
  6. Communication Is Key and King
    Feeling sexually mismatched with a partner at some point in a relationship happens to a lot of people and the best way to deal with it is head on. Opening up communication, whether it’s just between you and your partner or with the help of a sex therapist. Sexuality can’t really be separated from the rest of a person’s life, so talking in-depth about the sexual incompatibility can be vital because it helps couples figure out if other parts of their life are feeling the problem.
  7. Sexual Incompatibility(Temporary) Is Quite Common
    Here is the take home message: If your first couple of romps with a new partner didn’t really work out or your longtime lover has lost some of their temptingness, understand that this is common. Very common. You can choose to jump ship if that seems like the right decision but don’t blame it on a bad partner or your own sexual shortcomings. Sexuality is complicated and messy and challenging but no one is unalterably bad at sex, some relationships just require extra effort.

 

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